After reading this blog post by Pastor Joseph Bonifacio, I immediately thought about how I am faring in terms with communicating respect on my marriage. I’ve been married for a little over two years (we celebrated our 2nd anniversary just this month) but because my husband has to work in Bataan while I have to stay here in Iloilo City, we only get to see each other whenever there are long weekends and during holidays. I had never actually experienced how it is to cook for my husband, prepare his things for work, spend normal working days with him, do groceries together – basically normal things that normal, “together” couples do.

That is why I got to think how I have been doing in terms of giving respect to my husband. I do subscribe to that love and respect thing taught in the Bible (I have yet to read the book, though) and respect is something that I know I ought to give Gian since the time I said “I do”.

I wonder if my husband can feel my respect despite the distance. I wonder whether my choice of words and the tone with which I use whenever we get to talk over the phone (or chat online) reflect respect. I wonder whether the decisions I make or about to make show deference for my husband as the head of our family. Most of all, I wonder whether every time we have misunderstandings or arguments, I still express respect.

Pride has been one of my greatest weaknesses. It has always been a struggle for me to swallow my pride and say sorry. But since I want to communicate respect in everything that I do within my marriage, I have been taking pains in learning to ask for forgiveness (even though I feel that I am still right.) Oh, how I struggle. And I must admit that I also fail at this endeavor several times. For someone like me who is used to making decisions for herself and being confident with such decisions, it is always painful to submit to someone else’s authority. I feel like having a thorn lodged in my throat each time I know that I had to let someone else decide on things that I know I can manage to do by my own. Still, I cannot question this God-ordained authority because isn’t it a fact that God knows what is best?

Marriage (and motherhood) has been teaching me a lot of things. And I am sure that this will be a never-ending learning process. But I am willing to learn. I will commit to learn. For after all, my wedding vow wasn’t made to Gian alone — it was a covenant I made before my God.

I will continue to pray for grace. 



About Lynai

Wife to my first and only boyfriend, mom to a very active toddler, lawyer, teacher, and a pilgrim always in need of grace.
This entry was posted in Being Married and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink.

5 Responses to Respect

  1. ForesterCary says:

    haha, everytime I read about books on love, courtship and marriage such as boy meets girl, or books about womanhood like let me be a woman or captivating, I get this mixed feelings of excitement and fear. I’ve always thought that motherhood is the most fulfilling and noble vocation in the world. But then when I think about the responsibilities and roles of being a wife, I realize that I still have a long way to go before I reach that level of maturity to qualify for the role, lol!

    • lynaisms says:

      In God’s own sweet time, Cary, He will make you the wife and mother that He wants you to be. But first, let’s go prepare to be an ideal girlfriend to our future bf, yes? Haha

  2. Marriage & motherhood are both fertile grounds. It will reveal the real you, the strength that you never knew existed in you or the the weakness that you never wanted to admit. Deny your cross and follow me. This is also true in our very relationship not only in our relationship with The Lord more so in our marriage, motherhood and family. It is only by God’s grace that we will be able to face every pain, detours and challenges. It is no longer about what we can do but what God can do and will be doing in our lives. keep the faith Lyn. You are not alone. hugs!

    • lynaisms says:

      I have to admit, Nang, that I’ve grown up a lot in terms of my outlook and priorities since I got married. Although sometimes I feel anxious, I am actually excited about how God will mold me into His likeness. Indeed, only by grace! So glad to journey with you, Manang. Hugs back!

  3. Same here Lyn. Cheers to more stories of Grace in our lives!

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